The 1433rd Psalm

He maketh me to lie down in green Integration Services tasks:
he leadeth me beside the still SSDs.

He restoreth my filegroups:
he leadeth me in the paths of MS best practices for his sanity's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of joins, I will fear no scans:
for thou art the optimizer; Thy indexes and statistics they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine schemas:
thou anointest my database with DBCC CHECKDB;
my plan cache runneth over.